Kim Kardashian West has built a career on making the public feel privy to her private life and secrets. And, indeed, throughout her life in the public eye, she has rarely flinched in the face of speaking her mind.
Here are 17 of her best – funniest, bluntest, and most outrageous – quotes, in no particular order.
“Honey, would you put a bumper sticker on a Bentley?”
Kim uttered this now-infamous quote when Wendy Williams asked if she had any tattoos back in 2009 – sitting right next to her sister Khloe Kardashian, who has multiple.
“But you would on a Ferrari. ‘Cause Khloe’s a Ferrari,” she continued sheepishly.
"I'm kind of shocked I'm getting a fashion award when I'm naked most of the time."
Kim showed off her keen sense of humor when she joked that she was surprised to be given a prestigious fashion award.
"Nicole Richie reminds me of my jeep."
There's a lot to unpack here. It's unclear exactly what inspired Kim to share this comparison back in 2010, but it's weirdly perfect.
Nicole Richie reminds me of my jeep
— Kim Kardashian West (@KimKardashian) April 2, 2010
"For me, skinny is just a style of jeans, not a goal."
Kim deliberately avoided using the term "skinny" in the promotional material for "Fit in Your Jeans by Friday" - a three-disc series of workout videos released in 2009 - and this particular quote from the press release sheds some light on that decision.
"I used to be so dependent on the guys I was in a relationship with. I don't know why, because I wasn't raised that way. If I looked at myself at 19, I would shake myself and be like, 'Wake up. You are way too smart for this.'"
Kim has been married twice before: a shotgun wedding at 20 years old with music producer Damon Thomas and an infamous 72-day marriage to NBA star Kris Humphries.
Read more: All of the Kardashian-Jenner family's significant others, past and present, ranked by net worth
"There's a lot of baggage that comes with us, but it's like Louis Vuitton baggage; you always want it."
Kim made this astute observation, which continues to be true, during the first-ever episode of "Keeping Up With the Kardashians."
"Kowabunga dudettes. I'm so pumped to be on this surfing kick. Who else surfs out there? Gnarly day in the h2o. Ridin waves!"
In 2010, Kim blessed us with this perfect tweet.
kowabunga dudettes. i'm so pumped to be on this surfing kick. who else surfs out there? gnarly day in the h2o. ridin waves!
— Kim Kardashian West (@KimKardashian) August 29, 2010
"F--- you, stop laying on the ground just to get a picture up my ass. Literally they're constantly up my ass and I'm over it."
Kim's butt is arguably the foundation of her entire empire, but she did not split hairs when discussing how "over" it she is with Wonderland magazine.
"I did a shoot recently and was like: 'Thank god this is about my legs.' Sometimes I'm so over my ass," she said. "Sometimes photographers will get down and zoom in on my butt. So I'll put my hand over my butt. It's my way of saying: 'Fuck you, stop laying on the ground just to get a picture up my ass.' Literally they're constantly up my ass and I'm over it."
"I'll cry at the end of the day. Not with fresh makeup."
It's no surprise that the beauty mogul values a full face of makeup, as she highlighted on an episode of "KUWTK."
"I don't want to play goalie, but for $100 I'll be goalie."
Kim's childhood soccer coach - who also happens to be the uber-famous music manager Irving Azoff - told Rolling Stone that she was "always a great little businesswoman."
"Once, she said, 'I don't want to play goalie, but for $100 I'll be goalie,' and she actually convinced me to give it to her," he said.
"I can smell when someone has a cavity. It's a very specific smell — not a bad-breath smell — but something that is really strong."
Kim told Harper's Bazaar about this hidden talent in 2016. She didn't elaborate, but she didn't need to.
"Maybe if you had a f---ing business you were passionate about, you'd know what it takes to run a f---ing business, but you don't. So don't even act like you know what I'm talking about."
The season 15 premiere of "KUWTK" featured a blowout fight between Kim and Kourtney Kardashian. The argument culminated in Kourtney calling her sister "a very distraught, evil human being."
However, most people latched onto Kim's comment about Kourtney's lack of ambition - and the memorable line quickly became a meme.
my cat: *kneads blanket*
me: Why u always hard at work makin them biscuits, lil baby?
my cat: Maybe if you had a fucking business that you were passionate about you’d know what it takes to run a fucking business but you DON’T— The Skeleton Formerly Known As “Calvizzles” 🤘🏽💀 (@Calvizzles) August 21, 2018
"Why does Batman put a bat symbol on everything?"
Bruce: It's called brand recognition and maybe if you had a fucking business that you were passionate about then you would know what it takes to run a fucking business but you DON’T
— Wilson (@deadletterpoets) August 19, 2018
I’m sick of adults telling me to get off my phone ok sis I have things to keep up with uh mutuals who need to be fed and DMs to answer maybe if you had a fucking business you were passionate about then you would know what it takes to run a fucking business but yOU DONT
— tal. (@kissylouwt) August 18, 2018
"I'm not buying her a f---ing pair of shoes. I bought her a f---ing career."
As it turns out, Kim has been brutally honest about Kourtney more than once on "KUWTK."
"Have you ever thought someone was kinda cool, liked their vibe then saw their tweets and realized they are so lame?"
Naturally, Kim added "LOL" to cap off this very relatable tweet.
Have u ever thought someone was kinda cool, liked their vibe then saw their tweets and realized they are so lame? LOL
— Kim Kardashian West (@KimKardashian) August 5, 2011
"If I've got Kanye, if I've got my family, then f--- the whole world."
Kim shared this blunt - yet extremely sweet - sentiment in a 2016 interview with Wonderland, published just one month before her Paris robbery.
"There's been times when things have happened in my family and I thought our careers were over. I'd say: 'Girls I hope you've saved up your money, because it's over for us - but we got each other, so let's all move to an island and have some fun now,'" she said.
"You can say a lot of things about me, but you cannot say I don't work hard. I don't sing. I don't dance. I don't act. But I am not lazy."
Kim said during a conversation with Janet Mock for Interview magazine that she used to "love being underestimated," but now, the businesswoman is expectant of a little recognition.
"Now when I hear, 'They're so not talented,' - 10 years into it - I'm kind of like, 'OK, give a girl a little respect.' If I'm so not talented, if I do nothing, then how is my career my reality?" she said.
"I like nudity."
Kim opened up about a variety of issues in her 2015 interview with Love magazine - but this simple quote may be the best, if not the most obvious.
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