Joseph Burgo, Ph.D.: I do think that the youngest child can feel particularly driven to prove his worthiness to the parents and to the world, which can lead to a kind of ambition. On the other hand, in just the opposite way, it can lead to a kind of apathy. “I’m not going to try because the competition for the parent’s attention is just too fierce.”
The latest research in the development of self-esteem places the critical period in the first two years of life, and it’s rooted in face-to-face, joyful engagement with the primary caretaker caregiver – your mother, usually. Firstborns get a lot of this, right? Because they’re the sole object of their mother’s attention. So you can imagine that firstborns tend to have higher levels of self-esteem, and tend to be more successful in life as a result.
You can imagine, as time goes on, as there are more children in the family, the parents have less time to engage in that kind of, you know, face-to-face, joyful interaction. And especially in large families, some of the kids, the kids get lost and spend the rest of their lives feeling lost, like searching for a sense of meaning and purpose in their lives.
Produced by Eames Yates and Shana Lebowitz.
This video was originally published October 2016.
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