- A 300-pound internet star took part in a prison block slapping match against a 6-foot-7 mixed martial artist.
- It was all part of the Russian Slapping Championships – a competition weird enough as it is, but one which just got even weirder because of its new-found setting … the penitentiary.
- Vasiliy Khamotiskiy, who is nicknamed “Dumpling,” was slapped into a “mini coma” late last year, but bounced-back in this prison setting, exchanging piercing hits with Zuluzinho.
- It all took place in March, before a coronavirus-enforced lockdown struck Russia. The competitors shared a $2,000 prize fund after being judged to have slapped each other equally hard.
- The promotional footage, which you can watch below, included an apparent escape from death row, a slap KO on a prison guard, and two larger-than-life slapping athletes.
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The face of the the Russian Slapping Championships is a burly farmer called Vasiliy Khamotiskiy, who is nicknamed “Dumpling.” He is already an internet star because of how good he is at slapping people in the face.
Khamotiskiy once said slapping was more of a show than a sport, albeit a show that allows participants to exchange single, undefended, open-palmed strikes until one of them is unable to continue because they’re slumped unconscious over a beer barrel.
The Russian Slapping Championships took their show to a new location recently when it matched “Dumpling” against a 6-foot-7 former MMA athlete, and told them to slap each other in prison.
Extras in the film footage wore orange jumpsuits, were covered in tattoos, and tried to look menacing enough to add a dark mood to what was about to unfold — some good, old-fashioned, slapping.
Introduced first was the Brazilian MMA fighter called Zuluzinho, an athlete so big he towered over everybody else in the room. Just look at this guy — he looks ready to slap someone.
Zuluzinho had an interesting (fictional) backstory because, moments before the competition, he was getting electrocuted for his apparent crimes but escaped the death sentence so he could do what he was born to do — slap “Dumpling.”
Then came cult figure “Dumpling,” who walked into the shot seemingly unfazed, hoping to return to winning ways after he was slapped unconscious during a recent match in December, last year.
The Russian Slapping Championships put together a montage which played on Khamotiskiy’s farming background, as he appeared to be driving a combine harvester in a field of wheat during a dream sequence.
The prison guard who woke him was next seen slumped in the cell. The lesson here? Don't wake a sleeping "Dumpling," whatever you do. He'll only slap you.
Here he is, boys and girls, the man — "Dumpling" — the myth, that as the king of the slaps he can slap anyone unconscious, and the legend, that he's Russia's most prominent slapping champion.
After winning a coin flip, "Dumpling" was awarded the first slap. He even chalked his bare palm for good measure.
"Dumpling" measured the distance, took one huge swing, and slapped Zuluzinho so hard that he left a chalky palm-print on his cheek …
… but Zuluzinho appeared to relish the pain and even smirked at those in attendance.
Now, with his palms chalked, it was Zuluzinho's chance to swipe his hand across the bearded face of his opponent, "Dumpling." Though it sounded like a good hit, it was ruled a foul because his hand pulled down the ear. No slap!
This was seemingly no end in sight for this slap-insanity as Zuluzinho and "Dumpling" went to war with each other's faces.
Kaboom!
They went back and forth, exchanging heavy slaps. Zuluzinho even showed that, in this most bizarre of combat sports, that camaraderie still exists as he checked on "Dumpling" after fearing he had slap-KO'd him.
After smelling salts, regular doctor check-ups, and a helluva lot of slaps, there could be no winner in this battle and a draw was declared. As nobody was unconscious and they slapped each other equally, they shared the 150,000 rubles prize ($2,000). And, most importantly, they hugged.
If you've read this far, you'll want to watch the whole thing unfold right here.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=G5DhR1G6BJI?start=913
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