‘The Walking Dead’ star Khary Payton told the showrunners years ago that if he was killed off the show to ‘have him die with his head up’

• Warning: There are spoilers ahead for "TWD" season 11 premiere.
• Khary Payton speaks with Insider about his personal ties to his character's story line right now.
• If Ezekiel dies, Payton said he just asks to go out with his head held high.
• Visit Insider's homepage for more stories.

While most of "The Walking Dead" survivors are trying to outlast the dead, starvation, and other formidable groups on the AMC series, Ezekiel (Khary Payton) is fighting a very different battle on the show's final season.

After trying to hide it, Ezekiel revealed last season that he has thyroid cancer, something which ran in his family. He sought out the Commonwealth with Eugene at the end of season 10. Though he didn't say it, fans have been hopeful the group may be able to help with treatment.

On the season 11 premiere, during an interrogation, Ezekiel breaks out into a coughing fit while chewing out the Commonwealth's army leader, Mercer (Michael James Shaw).

For about 30 seconds, Ezekiel struggles to catch his breath until he's finally given a glass of water.

It's a masterclass in acting and an emotionally tough scene to watch, especially if you've had someone in your life who has lived with cancer, emphysema, or another chronic pulmonary disease.

When Insider asked Payton, who has played the former zookeeper on the series since season seven, about filming that scene and what he drew on for his performance, he took a long pause before answering.

"I'm trying to figure out how to answer that question because it's really personal... that kind of struggle," Payton told Insider earlier in August. "My dad has fought cancer for seven, eight years now. I lean on that a lot."

"I also, honestly, I lean on the people who have come to me and talk to me about their struggles through this character," Payton added about how he approaches Ezekiel's current story arc. "Yeah, it's personal."

Payton asked two of the series' showrunners years ago that if he didn't survive 'TWD,' to make sure Ezekiel goes out with his head held high

Ezekiel has long outlived his character's surprising comic death.

In issue No. 144 of Robert Kirkman's comic, Ezekiel's head is placed on a pike along with a pregnant Rosita by the Whisperers.

Now, there's potential for Ezekiel to get another character's death, an original death all together, or to survive the entire series. Payton said he's OK with any outcome to Ezekiel with one caveat.

"I've told [current showrunner] Angela [Kang] and [former showrunner] Scott [Gimple], actually, years ago, I was like, 'I don't care if Ezekiel lives or dies. I'm preparing for either scenario," Payton said.

"But I told them whatever you do, when you write him, don't have him die with his head hung, you know, have him die with his head up and looking out for some kind of light," he added.

Payton compared Ezekiel's struggle to some of his own personal ones.

"I've suffered with depression in my life," Payton said. "Fortunately, I'm able to recognize it now in my life. I can almost visualize the clouds rolling into my world and covering the sky. I love that analogy because clouds don't stay in one place. If you can just remind yourself of that, you can weather any storm - that even above the clouds, there is blue sky, you just can't see."

"I give that kind of mentality to Ezekiel as well," Payton added. "No matter how long the coughing fit there is a reminder that there's always some blue sky."

Payton said even if he never works again, he's proud of the bonds he's forged with people he's never met because of the show.

When Payton looks back at his time on the show and the legacy he hopes Ezekiel leaves behind, he said he holds onto the relationships he's cultivated with people he has barely met or never met at all over the years while on the show.

"It's the reason that I found purpose in what I do," Payton said of the show and playing Ezekiel. "I wanted to tell stories that could be recorded so that someone I've never met or never will meet will watch it and find kinship and strength, and a kindred spirit and be able to use that in their own life."

"Ezekiel has given me that in spades," Payton continued. "['TWD' is] something that I can always point to that makes me know that even if I never do anything else again, that this is why [I did it]. This is why I will do things again because the purpose is clear to me now... The real purpose of all of this is that strength that we can give each other through storytelling and I'm really grateful to have been a part of that."

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