Unemployment diary: I’m a 59-year-old assistant restaurant manager in Missouri who’s been out of work since March

• The Unemployed States of America takes readers deep inside the decimated American workforce.
• Paula Jan Beasley is a 59-year-old assistant restaurant manager based in Kansas City, Missouri.
• She was laid off in March, just two weeks after starting a new job, and didn’t qualify for unemployment or any government assistance beyond food stamps.
• Despite her lengthy experience in HR, Beasley feels that her job prospects are pretty bleak, and says she’s anxious about starting a job that could expose her to the virus.
• This is her story, as told to Business Insider.
• Visit Business Insider’s homepage for more stories.

When I was laid off in March, I didn’t qualify for unemployment or any assistance under the CARES Act. I’d just started a new job, and two weeks in, I was let go due to the virus.

Thankfully, I did qualify for food stamps, but mainly I’m getting by thanks to friends, family, prayers, and tears. I also sell items on eBay or at consignment shops just to bring in some cash, although it’s minimal.

I have no insurance, and with no money coming in, I’ve been unable to pay for new glasses or medical care. I watch every red cent and allocate money, as best as I can, to cover everyday living expenses, utilities, and rent.

My job prospects are pretty bleak.

I spend several hours a day searching and applying for work, but I’m still very scared to work in an enclosed restaurant or building with no masks or extreme sanitizing protocols in place, as I will turn 60 in the next few months. 

My biggest worry is that I won’t be able to find employment where it’s safe to work. I’m scared that local businesses will fail, and that Trump will continue his demoralizing lying that has shredded the fabric of the United States. Utterly depressing. Hard to shake that!

I may never get back to my career field of human resources, so I'm open to learning new skills just to find something, anything, to stay afloat. I hope to keep my apartment as long as I can.

This has been a very depressing and humiliating time for me, not being able to pay for mental health care or any other medical issues. I'm sad that I'm in this sad situation, having once had a nice career in HR and been able to pay for basic necessities and extras and my dream car and apartment.

At almost 60, my age, unfortunately, is not in my favor, despite my 20 years of experience in HR.

Watching this country fall to pieces because of a lunatic administration with no accountability has been absolutely sickening.