- Serena Wiliams previously told Insider that she suffered "mom guilt."
- She said she feel guilty whenever she spent time on herself, instead of being with her daughter.
- Wiliams said she wasn't sure if she was "a good mom" or whether her parenting "method" worked.
Serena Williams, who said her decision to retire from tennis Tuesday was partly to focus on her family, previously revealed in an exclusive interview with Insider that she was struggling to find a balance between her career and motherhood.
The 40-year-old sports star, the most successful female tennis player ever since the Open era began with 23 Grand Slam titles, said in April this year that "mom guilt is real."
She revealed that, when she is doing something for herself without her daughter, Olympia, 4, by her side, she feels guilty.
Williams went on to say to Insider that she doubted "if I'm a good mom, and I don't know if my method works." But she emphasized that, following the example of her own parents, she's very "hands-on" with Olympia, despite the demands of both her tennis schedule and business ventures.
In her first person essay in Vogue, in which she announced her retirement after competing in the US Open, the California native wrote, "I started a family, I want to grow that family."
The mom, who is the youngest of five sisters, said that Olympia constantly asks her to provide her with a sibling. Williams said the little girl will sometimes pray to "Jehovah" before bed — when she knows her mother is listening — to "bring her a baby sister."
She said, in her Vogue essay, that her own sisters are her "heroes," and Olympia's wishes have felt "like a moment I need to listen to carefully."
Announcing her retirement was a tough call
However, she acknowledged that she had "never wanted to have to choose between tennis and a family."
She added, "I don't think it's fair."
Williams singled out football star Tom Brady as one of the leading male athletes who hadn't been forced to make such a difficult decision.
"If I were a guy, I wouldn't be writing this because I'd be out there playing and winning while my wife was doing the physical labor of expanding our family," she noted.
She went on, "Maybe I'd be more of a Tom Brady if I had that opportunity."
Williams, who is married to Alexis Ohanian, co-founder of Reddit, told Insider in the Spring that, "after work, I'm going right to my daughter. And that's amazing and good."
But she admitted that motherhood often comes at the expense of her own needs. She said that she struggles not to spend all of her personal time with Olympia, and can think, "'Okay, what happens to Serena?'"
She said she was "really bad at self-care," and joked that she hadn't "sat down in a chair" and had a pedicure for two years. "Maybe I could do that while I'm multitasking and taking calls," she said.
Writing in Vogue today, four months after her Insider interview, she stressed the importance she felt of being a woman.
"Don't get me wrong: I love being a woman, and I loved every second of being pregnant with Olympia," she said in Vogue. "I was one of those annoying women who adored being pregnant and was working until the day I had to report to the hospital — although things got super complicated on the other side."
She was referring to the serious complications she experienced at the time of Olympia's birth. She required an emergency C-section because her baby's heart rate had dipped to a dangerously low level during the delivery.
Williams had previously said that motherhood had helped her career because it had made her less anxious
Olympia wound up being fine, but Williams was not so fortunate. She had a pulmonary embolism and needed multiple surgeries.
Meanwhile, in a 2018 interview with Vogue, she said she believed that having a baby might have helped her. "When I'm too anxious I lose matches, and I feel like a lot of that anxiety disappeared when Olympia was born," Williams said.
She added, "Knowing I've got this beautiful baby to go home to, makes me feel like I don't have to play another match."
The mom added that Olympia's arrival had given her a new perspective on her life goals. "I don't need the money or the titles or the prestige. I want them, but I don't need them. That's a different feeling for me."
